Dipping in the Murky Water

If we want to grow in Christ or pursue significant change in our circumstances, often we must immerse ourselves in a difficult and murky process.


Consider a man named Naaman from the Old Testament. Naaman was a highly esteemed military commander who the Lord used to bring victory for the people of Aram. Unfortunately, the man develops leprosy.

There is evidence to show that Naaman was not a particularly good man. His wife's servant is a young Israeli girl who was apparently taken captive by raiders, which seems to give evidence that Naaman was not entirely a man of conscience. There are other parts of Naaman's story that reveal he is a very proud man.

Fortunately for Naaman, his young Israeli servant tells him of a prophet in Israel who could heal him from his leprosy. Naaman's appeal eventually goes before the King of Israel, and the prophet Elisha offers to heal him. Elisha instructs Naaman in 2 Kings 5:10 by saying:

“Go, wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed.”

Naaman is instantly angry, saying:

“I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy. ¹² Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Couldn’t I wash in them and be cleansed?”

Naaman was hoping for a quick and clean fix to his problem. Elisha doesn't even travel to where Naaman is, but sends a servant to communicate the method by which he will be healed. Naaman wanted Elisha to honor him by traveling to where he was, and hoped that Elisha would simply waive his hand and he would be healed. Naaman's expectation was that the process would be clean, simple, and reflective of the honor he is due.

Instead Naaman must travel far from his home near Damascus and go to the Jordan River in Israel. He must make a long, seemingly unnecessary journey and humble himself by going to a river in Israeli territory. And it's not a pristine river that Elisha has told him to plunge himself into seven times. The Jordan is considered one of the slimiest rivers in the area (at top of blog, pic of Jordan River; ref. The Moody Atlas of Bible Lands by Beitzel, Barry J).


*To enlarge, click on map to open in a new window, or follow this link to the original source: http://bible.org/assets/netbible/ot5.jpg. Naaman is believed to have traveled from the northern area of this map near Damascus in Aram territory to just north of the Dead Sea in Israeli territory.

Eventually Naaman's servants convince him that there is nothing to lose by following Elisha's instructions, and so Naaman travels to the Jordan and dips himself into it seven times. The Bible tells us that Naaman's skin is restored to the condition of a young boy.

This story causes me to think about my own life and some of the difficult and murky paths I see coming in my future. As I consider whether I will make some major changes in my career and relationships, I look into the future and worry about the weaknesses and sin I will likely need to address along the way. I quickly get overwhelmed by all the difficult circumstances that I could foresee coming up. And yet, I know that with the strength of the Lord I want to make a change.

Sometimes we may find that our close relationships have journeyed into a dessert. We didn't really see the problems coming, but now it is clear that intimacy has broken down and restoration is necessary. Or, sometimes we are living a comfortable life and God is calling us to leave that comfortable life for another mission. Whatever the reason, there are many times in our lives when God is asking us to make a change that will require a journey that could be long and difficult.

I often wish that God would come to me as I sit on my couch reading the Bible, and that He would wave His mighty hand, and change would happen in an instant. The story of Naaman, however, reminds me that I must be willing to accept that the journey to significant change will require dipping into some murky water. Change may not be a particularly complicated task, but it will require accepting uncertainty and choosing to fight the battle to get where we think God is leading us.

I for one would rather live an adventurous and honest life than one that is comfortable but shadowed by a guilty conscience. We will have to live with persistent uneasiness if we stand still when God is asking us to move forward.

For Naaman, he is not only healed after following Elisha's instructions, he also becomes a believer in the God of Israel. He becomes a worshiper and follower of Yahweh. We too can anticipate that when we set out to follow the Lord despite difficulty and uncertainty, at the end of that journey we will know and worship Him more deeply. I also trust that God will not abandon us in our journey, but will stay near to help us grow toward what He is calling us to.

Failure is an Option

Every so often, I spend focused time thinking about my future. Most recently, I have spent significant time considering a career as an overseas missionary. As I have thought about this possibility, I find myself encountering a lot of fears.


I would characterize myself as a fairly emotional person. I have had times in my life when I felt overwhelmed by sadness or anxiety. During those times, I worried that the strength of my emotions threatened my ability to succeed in key relationships and in ministry. When I am in a broken place, I fear that my emotions will overwhelm friends and they will walk away. As someone who wants to be an overseas missionary, I fear that my sensitivity will disqualify me for a vocation seemingly done best by those who are extremely flexible and stable.

So, as I look to the future, I see high potential for failure.

It occurred to me last week that I haven't really sought the Lord much recently. I have spent quality time reading the Word and praying, but the busyness of the semester has kept me from looking at God and waiting to hear if He has anything to say to me. Troubled by these fears I just mentioned, I sat down this past Friday morning to seek God and see if He had anything in particular to say to me. I ended up reading from Psalm 27:4-6:

"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord."

When I read these verses, I was really moved. I was reminded that really my greatest desire in life is to know the love God has for me. I long to see God's beauty. I long to be near Him and to know the unfailing love and care He shows His children.

These verses brought me back to some important questions. What if I do fail? What if I ever have an emotional breakdown? What will happen if my relationships and job are jeopardized by my sensitivity?

I realized that if my greatest hope and goal is to know God more fully and to dwell in His presence, there will be no time of true failure. When I look back at difficult times in my past, they were all incredibly successful at drawing me closer to God. I walked out of those times filled with an incredibly deeper knowledge of God's love, justice and mercy. If my greatest desire in life is to know God, these past times of seeming failure were a massive success.

Another hope I found in this verse is that the scripture talks about God exalting us. It occurred to me that during previous times of great difficulty, I have always emerged better suited for ministry. After all, ministry is all about showcasing God. When difficulty leads me to a deeper understanding of God, the work I do in ministry cannot help but be more fruitful. In a sense, I should be more marketable as a missionary each time I encounter failure, because that failure leads me deeper into relationship with God.

In all, it is comforting to know that not only is failure an option, but it's actually a really good option. This is not to say that we justify our sin as an opportunity to know God better. It also doesn't mean that times of failure will feel blissful. But, if we seek God whole-heartedly, and we are repentant for our sin, we can be confident that there is no true failure in failure. When we fall, we achieve the greatest victory of dwelling in the house of the Lord and gazing upon His beauty.

The Center of Change

Part of my job in campus ministry is to coach and train people. Most of the people I train are students between the age of 18 and 23. Recently I began to feel quite inadequate in the many meetings I have each week. It seemed that I was running into walls with nearly every person I was meeting with. I couldn't find the words that seemed adequate for motivating them to move forward.

There are people in my life that I view as incredible mentors, counselors and coaches. It seems that whenever someone spends time with these mentors, the person seeking help walks away forever changed. The advice is gripping and transforming. I have always wanted to be one of these mentors who people long to spend time with because I love and motivate them in drastic ways.

There are times when I meet with people and they exuberantly praise me for how well I listened and counseled them. But the walls I have run into recently have reminded me of some important truths.

It is not bad to want to shine. It is not wrong to desire to impact people's lives. At some point, however, an overemphasis on our own gift to move people forward can become self-centered rather than God-centered. It is easy to forget that coaching and mentoring people is not primarily about my influence, it is about God's work in their life.

I recently read Philippians 1:3-6:

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

One thing I noticed about this passage is that Paul was writing to Christians who are serving in the gospel. I too spend signficant time coaching people who are actively serving in the church. Paul communicates his confidence in God's ability to work in and through the Philippians. Though Paul spent the rest of his letter instructing and teaching them, he seems to realize that he is not the one carrying out the work of God in them.

God is at work in people's lives. God has also given people choice. Additionally, people do not change overnight. I can effort to be a force of change in people's lives, but God and people have a will and mind of their own. I am missing the spiritual growth equation if I think that I am at the center of change in people's lives.

Ultimately, it is comforting to know that even if people don't move forward in the way I perceive they should, it doesn't mean I didn't say the right thing or encourage them in the right direction. They have a choice and God's wisdom trumps my own. It is easy too to become impatient with people when they do not change quickly. It is important to remind myself daily that God is at work in their lives and He will carry out to completion the great work He has begun in them.

God is at the center of their change.

President Obama's Words to Japan

In a condolence book at the Japanese Embassy, President Obama wrote these words regarding the earthquake and tsunami of March 11th, 2011:

"Because of the strength and wisdom of its people, we know that Japan will recover, and indeed will emerge stronger than ever."

(image & quote from NYT, March 17th, 2011)

The recent disasters in Japan have put the many strengths of the Japanese people on full display. Was there ever an incident like this where no looting or violence broke out? It is inspiring to watch the patience of the Japanese people during this disaster. People are standing in perfectly formed lines for hours to get water and food. Drivers wait for hours to get fuel without honking, yelling or flicking each other off. News programs have highlighted the countless Japanese people who have lost spouses, children, grandchildren, and friends. And yet, there is a distinct calm and conscientiousness that remains, as though selfishness and hatred were not an alternative.

Like the nicely dressed, quiet, proper girl who everyone snickered at in junior high, sometimes we can devalue the calm and collected culture of Japan. Sometimes we find repose odd and even unattractive. But what might sometimes come across as cold and distant, now for Japan shows as strength and patience.

There is a word in Japanese, gamansuru, that means "to bear under" or "to endure." Linguists will tell you that the most commonly used words in a language provide the deepest insights into the culture. Gamansuru is a very commonly used word in Japanese. Before this week, I don't know that I had ever deeply considered the word's cultural implications. This last week and a half, however, has reminded me that Japan has endured a lot throughout its history, and their experience in perseverance has prepared them to face this new trial.

Obama's words are so appropriate. If there was ever a country that I was confident could rebuild and "emerge stronger than ever," it would be Japan. Let's continue to pray that God will comfort and protect those who have lost so much through this disaster. I pray that in their great human strength they do not miss an opportunity to seek and find the great message of Christ's death on our behalf.

I was reminded today that cherry blossom trees are beginning to bloom right now in Japan. Cherry Blossoms are one of the iconic symbols of Japan. In literature and poetry, the cherry blossom is a symbol of things that are beautiful but fleeting. The petals of the cherry blossom last little more than one week. The small, intricate blossoms represent the beauty and fragility of life. This symbol is yet another reminder of the deep wisdom of Japan. It is also a symbol I hope Japanese people can use to help themselves heal during this trying time.

Wasting Away

Everything in my life is wasting away!

The last few days I have been lamenting my allergies. For two straight years, I had a sport's injury that caused limited but persistent pain. After some physical therapy last Spring, the injury is almost entirely painless. But just as that injury was healing, I developed allergies that I have never had in my life. The allergies basically lead to symptoms similar to ashthma. It can feel like my body is constantly broken in some way.

On a similar note, I have been lamenting how the material things I own always seem to require attention. Just this morning, one of my blinds for my 75x45in windows broke and probably needs to be replaced. Another thing on my to-do list! It seems that you fix one problem and another creeps in.

Probably one of my greatest laments concerns my emotional sensitivity. I am a person who is easily hurt and easily irritated. If someone says something rude, it seems like 50% of people wouldn't notice. Of the 50% who notice, it seems that another 50% wouldn't care. I am in the minority that notices and cares. Along with this, I have a predisposition for worry. Sometimes that worry has physical symptoms. I can worry that my personality and ministry are causing long term damage to my health.

Today I was reading from 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

One of the things that struck me from this verse is that I should expect my body to be wasting away. I should expect troubles. Seems obvious, right? In essence, this verse is saying, "Life will be hard. It will chip away at you emotionally and physically. But keep in mind that it will be worth it when you see what God has done through you, and when you find rest in your eternal home." It's interesting how much less anxiety I feel when I recognize that in this life I will have anxiety and that it will wear on my body and mind.

Nothing in the world is stable. Things are always breaking. Our bodies are breaking. Our things are breaking. Our character is breaking. Everything is wasting away to some degree. Hope is found in knowing that we are staying tight to God and that we are trying to serve Him the best we know how. We can know that our temporary troubles are producing an eternal harvest both for those we serve and for ourselves.

*Photo taken by Jonathan King

Inhaling the Wind

I often wish that life could be free of heartache.

One day this past Spring I went running on a road near my house that heads south toward farmland. I have to be careful which days I choose to run this road. When running south away from campus the wind gets stronger as the buildings end and the farmlands begin. Wind sweeps through Central Illinois with nothing but bowing corn to stop it.

Newscasts claimed that this past Spring was one of the worst allergy seasons on record. This was the first year I ever remember having allergies in the Spring. Last winter the snow was heavy and then the temperatures warmed suddenly. All of nature jumped into growth. As the trees and plants grew with haste, I started having trouble breathing. I had a particularly difficult time when running.

As I set off for my run toward the south farmlands, the winds began to pick up. My allergies were probably nothing compared to someone who has asthma, nevertheless I struggled a bit to breathe deeply. The wind coming at me was tiring.

The best part of running on this particular road is usually the way back. The wind is almost always coming out of the south. This time, however, the run back was particularly difficult despite the wind being behind me. I found that the wind in my face had actually helped me breathe more deeply. Without that wind, it was more difficult to breathe oxygen into my lungs.

Running and gardening: these are two of the greatest sources of spiritual understanding in the natural world. As I ran away from the wind, I thought about how resistance in our life creates a need to breathe in the comfort of God. The wind is more difficullt to run into, but it also makes it easier to breathe in. If life did not offer any resistance, we would by consequence not need to breathe in the comfort and hope of God.

For me, the richest moments of my life have come when I caught just a glimpse of the depth of God's love and care for me. All of these moments happened in the midst of pain and difficulty. They all happened because I faced a time of difficulty and I looked to God for comfort. If there had been no difficulty, I would not have sought God. If there had been no resistance, I would not have experienced some of the richest of life's understandings.

I still wish that I would not stumble upon heartache, and yet the glimpses of God are so filling.

Eat Your Vegetables

I am a little ashamed to say that the last time I read entirely through the Old Testament was when I was a sophomore in college. At that point in my life, I knew that it was important for me to be familiar with everything in the Bible. I was interacting a lot with non-Christians in the dorm where I was living. People would often say, "In the Bible, it says..." I realized I had no ability to confirm or disconfirm whether what they were saying was true. It seemed important that I could respond if I was to be an advocate for Christ.


Often when I hear Christians say, "I've decided to read through the Old Testament," I watch as the people around them offer empathetic words. "Good for you," they'll say, but their tone is 'good luck with that.' Even those who have never read the Old Testament all the way through can lament about how boring books like Leviticus and Numbers can be.

I am one of those people who feels a certain amount of empathy whenever I hear someone is reading straight through the Old Testament. There are some really tedious parts. There are some confusing parts. There are some really repetitive parts (Numbers 7 is one of my favorite examples). But, all in all, I understand the importance of us reading each and every word of the Bible.

Around Christmas time, I felt a sense of conviction that I needed to reread the entire Old Testament. It had been so long that it seemed there would be a lot of things that I would read freshly.

So, around January, I accepted the arduous task of reading through the Old Testament. I'm not one of those people who uses a normal plan. I just read as much as I can whenever I can. I do keep a list of every book of the Bible in the back of my journal so that I can have some sense of accomplishment as I check them off one-by-one.

This second time around I really have learned a lot of new things. I am just now finishing Numbers, and even the most tedious books have little tidbits along the way that have been helpful for forming a fuller understanding of God. It was helpful to see that large sections of The Law are about practical things like disease-control and dealing with disputes. The Law was not as harsh and impractical as I had remembered.

This second time around I have also learned a lot about how engaged God is with His people. Over the last year, I have been struggling with whether God is involved in my daily life. Though God's method of interacting with us is different now than in Old Testament times, the books of the Old Testament deeply reveal God's heart to be in an intimate relationship with us. Most of the time, it is not one verse that reminds me, "God is involved." Rather, it is reading story after story where God is involved. The sheer number of stories adds even greater credence to God's involvement in our lives than any one verse from the New Testament that tells us this directly.

I concede that I am not moving very fast in my reading. I started in January and have only now reached Deuteronomy. During a recent retreat, I prayed that God would show me how to spend this time of fasting and solitude. I felt a nudge to spend focused time continuing my reading of the Old Testament. There's no easier time to read through the OT then when you're bored during two days of silence and solitude. Since that retreat at the end of April, I have picked up my pace.

Summer really seems like an ideal time for many of us to read through the Old Testament. It feels like one of those exercises that benefits from having more extended time to read. Summer is often a lot slower than January when many people set there New Year's resolutions.

I hope that many of us will accept the challenge of regularly reading the Old Testament all the way through. There is so much to gain in our understanding of God and in being able to answer difficult questions from other Christians and non-Christians.

Eat your vegetables. You might even find that you will enjoy them and the health benefits they provide.